jabber_moose

 God, i thought i'd need to break out the panic room or something.

Figured I'll update while I'm at our friends in Northport. They have excellent internet access, just...not in the room/apartment I'm staying in. Go figure.

Wednesday- Woke up bright and early to get to the airport. Slipped the pups their anti-anxiety meds. Pretty uneventful. Best part was getting to the airport, seeing the line for Delta, and having a bit of an 'oh fuck that's long' moment. We're not used to having to check bags.

But one of the airline employees overheard us, said, "Hold on, i have an idea." he whooshed off, returned with a wheelchair, and told mom to get in, since people in wheelchairs got priority.

So i wheeled Mom around with my laptop bag over one shoulder, and Charlie in his carrier over the other one. (Yeah, my shoulders hurt like a good ass mother liker 2 days later).

Going through security with the dogs was interesting, since we had to carry them through the metal detector.

Eh, who cares about this, anyway? Flight was good. Charlie slept the entire time. Dillon needed an extra half of his anti-anxiety before he finally settled down.

Arrived safe and sound, headed to Brooklyn, then to Erica's house.

(Proceed with internet withdrawal, isolation from the world, and a surprising few days of comment_fic  withdrawal)

Stayed with Erica for a bit, visited our friends in Northport.

Also- had about a day or two of stressing because our apartment plans fell through. The people there were dicks, and they didn't look at the application that said 'Multiple dogs', and called to say, "This is a problem. If you come with the dogs, we're turning you away."

But not even two days later, Mom and Dad found a better place that allows multiple dogs, and is even closer to where i'm going to school than the last one. 

~

Okay. Babies.

I'm not good with kids. Like, at all. Give me an aggressive dog over a harmless child that stares at you any day.

But.

Oh.

My.

God.

Our friends oldest daughter has a 15 month old, Lucas, who is the most amazing kid i've ever met in the history of like...ever.

Adorable, personable, easy going, smart as a whip.

First time i met him was at the mom's house, and he was incredible.

Second time, yesterday, i fell in love.

Mom and Elaine (family friend) picked me up at Erica's with Elena (the daughter, Lucas' mom) and the family dog, Willow- a beagle/bulldog mix who sat on my lap for the ride.

Lucas warmed to me immediately. I told mom the way to a kid's heart is letting a dog slurp your face like  a maniac.

This child.

this..CHILD. My GOD i've never met a child like this.

He's got so much to say, and no words to do it with. Yet.

Went in the pool with him. Have i mentioned i love this child?

Anyway. To the good part. We knew he was ready to start talking- really talking any moment. He was having entire conversations in baby talk.

Later on, this 15 month old was chowing down on chummus and guacamole, and suddenly started looking at me, and bumping his fingers together.

It was sloppy, but undeniably him signing 'more'. I'd been talking to Elena about baby sign with him, and Elena did a bit with him.

Eventually, for food, he would sign 'more.'

I died.

Later on, after his bath, he was be-bopping around the house, and Elena got him milk.

I was in the living room when Elena called, "Lucs? You want milk?"

And i got his attention and signed 'milk.'

We had me, mom, Elaine, and Elena showing Lucas the sign for 'milk' before giving him his sippy cup.

At one point, Lucas looked at us, and went, "MIIK," and pointed at the cup.

Cue cheering.

It snowballed from there.

He called Elena, 'Mama.' At one point, he looked at Mom and went, "Aabbaaaa." Elena was eating an ice cream sandwich, and he was staring at her, and i showed him how to sign 'ice cream.'

At one point he started rubbing his fist over his mouth and bobbing his head. Without a doubt..'ice cream.'

And then the words just..came. Like he's been dying to speak, but couldn't get the words out.

It was freaking..incredible.

We played more, and later on, up in the apartment me, Mom, and dad were staying in, Lucas raced over to me, and gave me the biggest hug around the legs.

Ffffff i'm so in love.

Afterwards, we headed back to my friend to get my stuff and pick up the dogs, and returned to Northport.


TL;DR: I CANNOT DEAL WITH CHILDREN, BUT THIS CHILD HAS STOLEN MY HEART, AND REFUSES TO GIVE IT BACK

(ps: in the event that i can't get on the internet in my room later, I have a request of my SPN Twitter people:

Is there any way you guys could send me a prompt via twitter that you think i might be inclined to check out? Or in this here post because i can check email/twitter on my phone)

Muuuch obliged.

 Sometimes i wonder if, after a nearly a decade, I'm still fighting myself.

How after nearly 10 years of popping medication every morning, and every night, there are times when looking at them makes me ill, and i want to throw them down the sink, or flush them.

But i don't.

And there are days, gods help me, where i wish i were...worse off. Is that insane or what?

I'm a 22 year old with full mental capacities, but there's that goddamn wall. A thin little wall that separates me from breaking out into the world. It's there...i can touch it. Independence, pride, confidence.

But i'm stuck. And i've been stuck. And i was unstuck for almost a year when i had my job.

Then i got stuck again.

And i'm rambling. I'm good, though. Not depressed or anything like that.


I may revisit this in a bit. Had another all nighter with the pups.

Going back to a previous post, Dillon's still..slowing down. I thought he'd hurt his leg about a week or two ago. Maybe he did. But he walks slowly. In a sense, it's amusing, because he can't sneak up the stairs without being caught.

But he doesn't like standing, much. He's sleeping more. Lost about 4 pounds, but that could contribute to the week he and Charlie were sick.

Haven't heard back from the Phx Zoo regarding the volunteering, which is weird. I want to see if they still need people for Rock the Zoo tonight.

Job hunt is still on. Cause lets face it, i'm not getting by on the examiner articles.

Right-o, then.

Onward, troops