If this works, it would rock...

Duh

So, lately...sparing you all the details, i've been having some nosebleed issues. (Sorry-haha). More than likely the heat and all that. Anywho, went to the doctor, who found damaged vessels that were causing the bleeds. Shipped me off the next day to have the vessels cartarized/sealed off, etc.

I'd like to add that i've been suffering some pretty bad migraines, haven't been feeling well, etc. I also practically worked myself into exhaustion over the week, and was incredibly sore and achy from work. So i supposed i'd popped a few ibuprofen to make things easier.

So i'm sitting in the doctor's office after my nose has just been tampered and burned and doused with lidocane, and i'm looking over some reading material i was given on nosebleeds.

And i started to giggle.

Mom, who had already read the paper, looked at me like i was nutso.

I read out a paragraph from the sheet. 'While not a deciding factor, anti-inflammatory medications and blood-thinners such as ibuprofen, etc. etc greatly contribute to the frequency and severity of epitaxis.'

Ibuprofen...which i'd recently started an increase in over the past few weeks.

Nosebleeds..which have gotten worse over..the past few weeks.

I love the ironies of life. I really do. So we had a giggle over that one, then my nose started itching, and i was sad.

Anywho, yeah.

Mom left for NY this morning. We had long, in depth discussions with Dad about the 'do's and don'ts'. Including...don't treat Lauren like your wife. Don't ask her to do things for you. Take care of yourselves, don't worry about the other person.

Such conversations included, Dad's end, "If Lauren needs to get somewhere, i'll take her. You know i never complain about that (even if she never does anything for me, et al.)"

'Lauren' also doesn't drive, thank you. So for all his 'I have no problem, you just let me know...' Mom probably  hasn't even landed and i've gotten emails. 'Look at this' for me. 'When you get a chance.' .... 'i can't find this, it's important you find it.' "look this up for me." "You sent me an email of what i need to do for you, places to drive you, and you can't do me this little thing? Selfish, ungrateful.'

Lauren. Doesn't. DRIVE.

Now i'm going into work (even though i'm off, because i worked the entire week/weekend, and my boss was kind enough to let me off last night because i wasn't feeling well after the doctor) and i'm not in the best of moods.

He just says things to make mom feel better about going, i think. I also think he actually believes himself.

Mom's barely left, and i already feel the anxiety coming. I already feel like crying, or throwing shit. I'm not going to make these next few weeks with him.

I was stupid enough to actually think he'd try. I'm an idiot...i really am.

This is going to suck. royally. I'll need a wing and a prayer to get me through these next few weeks.

At least there's bowling tonight. Whoo-hoo...car ride with dad. Would go with Derek, even though he's taking his motorcycle but:

a) Derek says my head will need to grow to fit his spare helmet.

b) First motorcycle ride + 11lb bowling ball on my back- NO.

I need an asprin. Hell, the irony of it all. I need to take tylenol (NOT Advil/Ibuprofen), but i doubt that'll get me through the day.

I need to get ready  for work...and NOT freakin...cry.

I also remembered something...that i'm probably just gonna contribute to my emo-ing.

The last job that i had...at a dog boarding facility...everything was fine. Until mom left for NY, and i was left alone with dad. Frustrated, tired, and stressed as hell with having to deal with Dad, my work ethic started to fall.

A week later, with mom out, and i was barely holding it together with him, i was fired.

Lovely.