"Sorry-Grateful" Yay for Erica coming in!

So it's almost 11:00 here in Arizona, and i'm prepped and ready for Erica to come in.

To be totally honest, i'm also anxious, too. Not..because of Erica, but because of my dad.

It hasn't been easy with him, and me and mom are just waiting for the day when we can pack up and move on.

I'm nervous about him with Erica. Mom is too, thanks to my dad's increasingly depleting source of manners and brain-mouth filter *rolls eyes.*

When Erica was last here, there was a situation where we were headed up to Sedona, and Erica ended up losing her beloved hat to the wind. I'd be disappointed, and Erica clearly was, but in the end, Dad basically blasted her for being ungrateful.

I was pissed...and horrified.

When my sister and her 'new'ish boyfriend flew down, hell broke loose again.  Mom privately spoke to my father of things *not* to do/say that could embarrass or upset my sister.

Of course, he did just the opposite. Poor Heather was furious, and dad would not let it go.

He's become more and more obnoxious, selfish, and often downright mean.

Me and mom have already worked out ways to keep him separate from me and Erica as much as possible, but some comments put me on edge...which i'd rather not feel when my friend visits from NY.

"Now, Lauren, promise you'll be on your best behavior...try not to embarrass me or say anything stupid when Erica's here." Translation: 'I know what you and mom are thinking, what you're worried about. I'll mock you about it now'

'I hope you're not taking her to Sedona. You know she won't appreciate it.' In re: above situation

Pretty much..my concern is that he won't bother being considerate of me, erica, or whoever.

Originally, since mom's working today, i was going to take a cab to meet Erica at the airport, but dad made room in his schedule to do that.

Now, if that wasn't enough to make me want to pop a couple of clonazepans today, the fact that he's particularly high strung (Surprise) today makes me worried.

I was willing to help him with some design stuff at work, but he doesn't get that if i do so, it doesn't mean it goes on the VERY TOP of my to-do list, and gets finished first and foremost.

So, little while ago, he's on his way home, and realizes he's an hour early to pick me up to drive me to the airport. So he says,

"But i'm going to be there on time, of course..." Yeah, like he's going to stop there, like any considerate person. "Because when i tell my daughter i'm going to do something, i actually do it."  Reference to the 'work' i did, but didn't put it on my highest priority. 

Then he comes into my room, comments on the cleanliness, and attempts to come in. I block the door, because he's been smoking yet again, and i don't want my space permeated with the smell, either. Usually i let it slide. Bite my tongue and all that, so after he 'storms off,' i exclaim, "D-aaad! It smells like smoke in here!"

"No, it doesn't," he snaps in Defensive Mode. "It smells like dog!"

So much for cleanliness and good smell, yeah?


I just want everything to work out...that's all. I don't want Erica subjected to the discord of my family. I don't trust dad not to say anything. Not...on an embarrassing standpoint. That i can MAYBE handle.

But not on an obnoxious, selfish, personal level.

Let the day begin