I'd say its about time i updated, ne? ^^

The house is quiet. That much i can say.

Grandma left to go home to Florida this morning.

Mom started work (to which i cackle at her, for starting before me)

Dad went to work

Heather is comfortably settled in the Big Apple.

Dillon and Charlie are resting on my bed, oblivious.

and i'm...here.

Mom asked what i was going to do today, and i told her i was going to sink myself into deep meditation.

ooohhhmmmm....

She laughed at that.

o(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)oo(o_o)o

Where has the time gone? Just yesterday i was crouching in the shadow of my Big Sister at Harmony, barely listening as she chattered on and on.

I sat in a room with 4 or 5 other ninth graders that year, musing at how small graduation was going to be.

That graduation class has hitched up to about 26 students.

anyway, i was going somewhere with this.

No, i'm not afraid to graduate. I suppose its the regular excited-nervous flutters anyone would get. I'm not one of the girls who are chomping at the bit the blow the joint, but i'm not exactly hanging back. (Sorry Ekka ;-))

All i can say is, i've changed alot, emotionally and mentally. I was worried about my future, about college, senior year, tests...but i forgot to observe the most important part.

Things that were such a trauma to me...balloons, storms...are behind me. It seems so trivial now.

Years ago, my doctor told me i had slight scoliosis. Honestly, i'm starting to doubt that. I'm thinking the curve in my spine was merely my spine making its decision. Would i have a back bone, in metaphorical sense, or would i be confined to just accepting things in life without question?

Clearly, it decided to give me a backbone.

Sure, i might not have the greatest self confidence in the world, but at least now i'm doubtful of myself in the creative aspects of life. But even that has improved.

Once upon a time, i sat alone.

Now, i need extra heads to turn to who's talking to me.

But, i ramble. Somethings just never change :-)

I still need to work on alot, but i have my support, and the year hasn't even started yet.

I'm not going to change..much. I'm going to change for the better (Foorr good). Its time i take life by the reins, and slip my feet back into the stirrups. I have my support, but this year is gonna be a big year. Its really up to me now, which direction i take.

But either way, i know i can look back with no regrets, know i've done what i've had to do.

Years wiser and not too much taller, the future doesn't seem so vague anymore. Because what i'd forgotten was...that the future isn't always a pinpointed time. Graduation? College? my future begins tomorrow. that much i can see.

Take a look, and Consider

I nabbed this from Erica (PootPoot's) Livejournal, who had found it on a DeviantArt journal...



You don't have to be gay, or lesbian, or bi, or transexual to understand it's message.

"Gay is a three letter word
just like 'you' and 'mee' when it is misspelled.

Homophobia and You:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Repost this if you realize homophobia is wrong.