jabber_moose: (Default)
 God, i thought i'd need to break out the panic room or something.

Figured I'll update while I'm at our friends in Northport. They have excellent internet access, just...not in the room/apartment I'm staying in. Go figure.

Wednesday- Woke up bright and early to get to the airport. Slipped the pups their anti-anxiety meds. Pretty uneventful. Best part was getting to the airport, seeing the line for Delta, and having a bit of an 'oh fuck that's long' moment. We're not used to having to check bags.

But one of the airline employees overheard us, said, "Hold on, i have an idea." he whooshed off, returned with a wheelchair, and told mom to get in, since people in wheelchairs got priority.

So i wheeled Mom around with my laptop bag over one shoulder, and Charlie in his carrier over the other one. (Yeah, my shoulders hurt like a good ass mother liker 2 days later).

Going through security with the dogs was interesting, since we had to carry them through the metal detector.

Eh, who cares about this, anyway? Flight was good. Charlie slept the entire time. Dillon needed an extra half of his anti-anxiety before he finally settled down.

Arrived safe and sound, headed to Brooklyn, then to Erica's house.

(Proceed with internet withdrawal, isolation from the world, and a surprising few days of [livejournal.com profile] comment_fic  withdrawal)

Stayed with Erica for a bit, visited our friends in Northport.

Also- had about a day or two of stressing because our apartment plans fell through. The people there were dicks, and they didn't look at the application that said 'Multiple dogs', and called to say, "This is a problem. If you come with the dogs, we're turning you away."

But not even two days later, Mom and Dad found a better place that allows multiple dogs, and is even closer to where i'm going to school than the last one. 

~

Okay. Babies.

I'm not good with kids. Like, at all. Give me an aggressive dog over a harmless child that stares at you any day.

But.

Oh.

My.

God.

Our friends oldest daughter has a 15 month old, Lucas, who is the most amazing kid i've ever met in the history of like...ever.

Adorable, personable, easy going, smart as a whip.

First time i met him was at the mom's house, and he was incredible.

Second time, yesterday, i fell in love.

Mom and Elaine (family friend) picked me up at Erica's with Elena (the daughter, Lucas' mom) and the family dog, Willow- a beagle/bulldog mix who sat on my lap for the ride.

Lucas warmed to me immediately. I told mom the way to a kid's heart is letting a dog slurp your face like  a maniac.

This child.

this..CHILD. My GOD i've never met a child like this.

He's got so much to say, and no words to do it with. Yet.

Went in the pool with him. Have i mentioned i love this child?

Anyway. To the good part. We knew he was ready to start talking- really talking any moment. He was having entire conversations in baby talk.

Later on, this 15 month old was chowing down on chummus and guacamole, and suddenly started looking at me, and bumping his fingers together.

It was sloppy, but undeniably him signing 'more'. I'd been talking to Elena about baby sign with him, and Elena did a bit with him.

Eventually, for food, he would sign 'more.'

I died.

Later on, after his bath, he was be-bopping around the house, and Elena got him milk.

I was in the living room when Elena called, "Lucs? You want milk?"

And i got his attention and signed 'milk.'

We had me, mom, Elaine, and Elena showing Lucas the sign for 'milk' before giving him his sippy cup.

At one point, Lucas looked at us, and went, "MIIK," and pointed at the cup.

Cue cheering.

It snowballed from there.

He called Elena, 'Mama.' At one point, he looked at Mom and went, "Aabbaaaa." Elena was eating an ice cream sandwich, and he was staring at her, and i showed him how to sign 'ice cream.'

At one point he started rubbing his fist over his mouth and bobbing his head. Without a doubt..'ice cream.'

And then the words just..came. Like he's been dying to speak, but couldn't get the words out.

It was freaking..incredible.

We played more, and later on, up in the apartment me, Mom, and dad were staying in, Lucas raced over to me, and gave me the biggest hug around the legs.

Ffffff i'm so in love.

Afterwards, we headed back to my friend to get my stuff and pick up the dogs, and returned to Northport.


TL;DR: I CANNOT DEAL WITH CHILDREN, BUT THIS CHILD HAS STOLEN MY HEART, AND REFUSES TO GIVE IT BACK

(ps: in the event that i can't get on the internet in my room later, I have a request of my SPN Twitter people:

Is there any way you guys could send me a prompt via twitter that you think i might be inclined to check out? Or in this here post because i can check email/twitter on my phone)

Muuuch obliged.
jabber_moose: (Default)
 Just 'cause you don't taste the liquor, doesn't mean you should forget it's in there.

Took mom and dad out to dinner last night. 

Apologize for the lack of details, but. yeah. Coral Reefers are setting up shop in my head.

Oh my god. Jimmy Buffett living in my head. That would be awesome.

kinda already does. Crap. digression.

Ordered a baybreeze. Funny thing about baybreezes...every place makes them different. In this case, hint of coconut. But alot of places...you can at least taste the liquor.

So, right. Baybreeze. Bread. lots of bread. gnocci appetizer. water. big plate o' Aglio e Olivio. One more baybreeze. Two cannoli.

Had an awesome dinner. I think we were all in great spirits thanks to life's sudden tide change. Mom had just completed 3 1/2 years work of hard work and earned her Bachelor's online. (Hence, dinner). 

Got home, grabbed the dog's leashes, when everything kicked in. 

it was about 9:00 when i said, "Mom, i think my drinks just kicked in.'

Mom flew into action. I chugged a bottle of water. she gave me 2 excedrin.

I'll skip to collapsing into bed and falling asleep almost instantly..only to wake up soaked in sweat, nauseous at 12:30. Unable to go back to sleep for almost three hours.

The dogs were extra extra cuddly, though.

Anyway. I learned that if i'm slightly imbibed and have no one to talk to...i'll talk internet slang as an inner monologue.

It goes something like this:

Lauren is curled in bed. Petting the dogs

"FML. Just...FML. Oh, this succkss. NGL, pups."

No answer from them. whatever.

waking up 3 hours later.

"omg. FML TO HELL."

Then a steady stream of, "GDIAF, self. just..GDIAF."

True story. Dillon and Charlie can attest to it.


Not sure if they will, though, as Charlie had taken up residence sprawled over my chest, snoring, and Dillon had my legs pinned.

The not sleeping part sucked the most, though. 

I mean, how many reruns of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Queer as Folk can one take?

It would seem, as one would say. i have lost the plot.


Oh, back to dinner. In the event of WE'RE GOING HOME, BITCHES, we had an agreement to keep it on the down low.

Then mom goes, "I have a confession. I may have told..someone. I'm sorry? I told Allison." a pause, then she held up four fingers.

It evolved into a game of tapping each finger, and guessing who she told.

Then, i raised two fingers. For some reason, this struck everyone as hilarious. Oh, alchohol.

One finger tapped: Erica. Well, that shouldn't even count, right? She's the whole epicenter to the moving back-adge.

That finger down left me sticking my middle finger up in the middle of a restaurant.

The second person being Pat. Well. Anyway

5 minutes later, i held up three fingers. I'd actually told Bonnie, my former boss from the cat shelter in NY.

Alright. Back to the present.

Things to do:

A) resume applying to colleges in NY

B) Talk to Erica about stuff.

C) Ask Jimmy Buffett to take a short intermission from my head.

Speaking of which...where's my encore CD? I believe i should have it by now.

 

jabber_moose: (Default)
 Sometimes i wonder if, after a nearly a decade, I'm still fighting myself.

How after nearly 10 years of popping medication every morning, and every night, there are times when looking at them makes me ill, and i want to throw them down the sink, or flush them.

But i don't.

And there are days, gods help me, where i wish i were...worse off. Is that insane or what?

I'm a 22 year old with full mental capacities, but there's that goddamn wall. A thin little wall that separates me from breaking out into the world. It's there...i can touch it. Independence, pride, confidence.

But i'm stuck. And i've been stuck. And i was unstuck for almost a year when i had my job.

Then i got stuck again.

And i'm rambling. I'm good, though. Not depressed or anything like that.


I may revisit this in a bit. Had another all nighter with the pups.

Going back to a previous post, Dillon's still..slowing down. I thought he'd hurt his leg about a week or two ago. Maybe he did. But he walks slowly. In a sense, it's amusing, because he can't sneak up the stairs without being caught.

But he doesn't like standing, much. He's sleeping more. Lost about 4 pounds, but that could contribute to the week he and Charlie were sick.

Haven't heard back from the Phx Zoo regarding the volunteering, which is weird. I want to see if they still need people for Rock the Zoo tonight.

Job hunt is still on. Cause lets face it, i'm not getting by on the examiner articles.

Right-o, then.

Onward, troops
jabber_moose: (Default)


I need reading material.

And more entertainment. Or, as i coined it yesterday, 'Plane-tertainment.'

Possibly a new computer bag, cause this one's gonna be a bitch to stuff the important Plane-tertainment with.

I've never been good at packing, but since i moved to AZ, all trips to NY have been too short that i didn't have to worry about it. A few days, if anything.

This time around, it's over a week. And that's pretty bad ass.

Speaking of badass, John Barrowman's new album came out March 1st. It's all Broadway stuff. I need it.



Today, i called Charlie a BAMF. I'm not sure why. I just..did.

I've always kept them closed off behind a kitchen gate, because they had a tendency of marking the carpet in the living room in Phoenix.

But lately i've been taking them on a walk, then letting them around..just not upstairs.

So last night, i'm in my room, and i can't find Charlie. Mom's all, "He's in the living room with us, sleeping."

Again, this morning, i got out of a shower, and i'm like, 'great. Where's Charlie?" Dillon's asleep on my bed.

Charlie was by himself in the living room, just chilling out.

So i went "Charlie, you're a BAMF. You are a bad ass mother fucker."

I don't know why, though.


Speaking of the BAMFness, last night dad alerted me to the fact that 'Bright Young Things' was about to start on TV.

No, Dad's not the bamf-ness. Stephen Fry is.


Also. Job searching in NY. That sounds pretty BAMFery to me. Thinking i'll contact Dr. Selmer (Original vet) ..maybe he's got some leads for me. Before i left NY, he told me if i ever needed a reference, he'd be honored to write one up.
 

And that was before i was all...Veterinaryish.

OH \o/ \o/ YAY
jabber_moose: (Default)

 

When I found out we were going to be moving back in ’07, I was thrilled. Moving was something new, something I’d only read about. I’d lived in our house on the corner for 20 years, it was home, but moving…well…moving was new!  I had closed a chapter in my life when I finished high school, and I had overcome obstacles by attending colleges, managing a steady class and work load.

I had my friends, I was busy, and I was happy. Things were stressful at home, granted, with Dad out of work, and the struggle to clean the house and make it presentable.

And I’ll be honest. I felt more or less…indifferent to moving. It was just another thing that happened in my life. Oddly, only when I informed Bonnie, the supervisor over at the cat shelter I’d worked at for nearly 2 years about the move, is when I started to cry. But, like everything, it passed.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?

I could kick myself. Nearly 3 years later, and I’m feeling the ache of homesickness.

Simple things, like having a yard, or neighbors. Taking a train to the city with friends. Dodging through Manhattan with my friend, Jose, taking in culture.


Broadway.

When I left NY, I was still a bit..socially inept. I hadn’t experienced friendships with people I hadn’t met on common ground…emotional issues. When I joined my Meetup group in AZ, I proved myself wrong. I could associate, even befriend strangers. Go out to dinners, movies and hold my own on a regular basis.

But…it made me realize other things, too. Other wonderfully simple/complex things.

How it felt to just relax and watch TV with someone at your side.

To watch in fond exasperation as someone dear to you acted in a way that made you want to hide your face in your hands, but couldn’t help but smile.

 

Don’t get me wrong…I’m proud as hell of myself to see how far I’ve come socially. Been able to complete 9 months of Veterinary Assisting class, and hold steady job for nearly a year so far.

To experience happiness, accomplishment, first crushes.

To experience a hangover

To gain so much, and lose someone so close to my heart forever-Grandma.

To struggle and succeed without complaint-Work.

To learn what it is to save, protect, love, and let go-B.

To experience agonizing pain, and push on a day later- Spraining my ankle

To stand on my own two feet, and learn to support myself.

To hold my own against an impossible situation- Dad.

To miss.

To want.

To accept the inevitable.

To reach (So they say) for the unreachable stars.

So, yes, I toast to me. To life. To my family.

Granted, I’ve grown.

Although, I’d like to come home, now.


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March 2011

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